You can have either Hilary Duff or Paris Hilton as your girlfriend. Don’t say neither, because you know that even though both wouldn’t be your preferential celebrity choice, they’re probably better than what you’ve got going on at home or don’t even have and never will have. Or if you do have somebody you love and wouldn’t leave to be with one of these two celebrities, take it as a force-question. If you were forced to dump whoever you’re with to be with Hilary or Paris, who would you choose?

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